10/14/18

Lace Dress and Morris & Co Patterned Jacket

hmlace1s
hmlace6s

Hi, lovely people,

I would never think I would say this, but as my room is filled with with the scent of rain and pumpkin spice candles, I am overjoyed that the never ending London summer has left us for good. After rain the dust settles and the air is fresh again (as fresh as it can be around this corner of the woods). I've always thought the city is a great place to hide, but the country is the best place to escape to. Especially this time of the year - I miss being able to walk through the woods, undisturbed by the outside, left alone. 

After 6 years living here I rarely get home sick, I miss my family and my people constantly, but the place, the environment I called home for the first 19 years of my life I hardly ever yearn for. And if I do, these feelings are usually brought up by the people still occupying these places. 


hmlace5s
hmlace9s hmlace12s
hmlace11s
hmlace10
hmlace8s hmlace2
hmlace7s
hmlace4s

Dress - Urban Outfitters, Jacket - Morris & Co x H&M, Boots - Ted & Muffy (Duo Boots)

However, this past week I have missed the escape. My home, the house I grew up in is an extremely special place. Those of you reading this who have been there will know what I mean. Surrounded by endless amounts of pine forests intertwined by a calm river passing by, it is the most peaceful place I have ever been to. And after almost my 2 months living in the Big Smoke I need the antidote. I know these are feelings brought up by other things in my now daily life, which will soon again be buried away once I come up with a way out of feeling like an escape is due, but until then I need to develop a coping mechanism.

What truly is the issue is here is unclarity of my thoughts, of a way to go. My family comes from a long line of workaholics, especially the women of my family. Each and one of them, now including me as I have learned, do not cope well with not pushing ourselves to the absolute brim or being pushed in my occasion. Even though we all always speak of needing time off and not being appreciated, we still wake up the next morning and exceed our own capabilities. If I'm not constantly occupied, constantly challenged, while in the same time being on a that tricky line between success and full on breakdown, my mind goes into a very dark and unfamiliar territory. 

I used to got mad about the world making me always go the hard way, and now, as the hard way is the road I have only known and learned to walk, the other ones are strange to me, making me feel lost. I know its an adjustment, developing new ways of getting what I want. But to someone as impatient and often times stubborn, it is a struggle.

Anyway, with Autumn now in full swing, I encourage you all to put on your warm boots on, to go outside, to escape to places peaceful and familiar. It is good to sort your thoughts out, to organise your feelings, which will enable you to make conscious decisions, not emotional ones. And, I hope that much like me you can find the joy in rain. :)

Always yours,

Agita

No comments:

Post a Comment