9/30/18

Mini Tweed Dress and Velvet Thigh High Boots

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Hi friends,

Fashion week has come and gone in a heartbeat. Never having experienced London fashion week, I was extremely excited. I had thought about it for some time, planning what I will wear and see, drawing from memories of times in New York and Riga. To me, it's not always really about the fashion, it's more to do with people, watching people who attend shows and events, the way they behave, what they wear, what is their purpose within it.

As soon as you realise that it is one big show, which you are spectating, it becomes easier. I remember a time when fashion events would stress me to the point of anxiety, as I wasn't sure how to act or behave. Soon I had an epiphany that much like life, no one really has a clue.

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Dress - Zara, Boots - ASOS, Bag - Primark

When thrown in new environments, I oftentimes struggle with confidence. With having moved my life to London from Scotland, leaving my friends and my old work there, I feel like my eco system has completely shifted, leaving me slightly estranged. And, this doesn't mean I dislike my current environment, my new planet, definitely not. It is exciting and inspiring, but unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable due to the fact that I'm still in the figuring it out stage. I remember when I first moved to Scotland, for the first few months I felt nothing like myself, because my old self did not quite fit. The puzzle piece was part of the picture, but it stuck out from the surroundings. Not to the people around, but to myself. My inner voice, because it is not second nature, tells me I'm doing things weirdly, not the right way, and maybe I should stop altogether - give up. And, I know that is not true, but it is very hard to go against yourself sometimes, even when you know you are wrong. 

However, it is getting easier, my flat is becoming a home, strangers are becoming friends, comfort is found in places becoming familiar, motivation keeps me going. More often than not, you need to know that the fear is in your mind, that there is actually nothing to be afraid of. 

During fashion week there were two ladies constantly looking at me while waiting for the show doors to open. In my mind I had created this scenario where there was something on my face, my dress was not right, something they found strange about me. I smiled at them awkwardly, like I usually do when I catch someone staring at me for a while. They came closer and said - Are you in the show? To which, I answered with a puzzled look and "Sorry?". I did not know these people, they could not possibly think I'm one of the designers with all my fashion week get-up. They looked at each other, smiled and said "We saw you on the catwalk earlier, you are one of the models, right?" 

You can imagine my face turning red, followed by an awkward laugh and 500 "thank yous" as there is no chance this pizza-inhaling Latvian could ever be in the show. Nevertheless, it was one of the nicest things a stranger had said to me in a while. And it just proved my point, that I had created this whole uncomfortable, something is wrong situation in my head, and that in fact everything was fine, people in London AND in fashion week are actually lovely. 

So, to end - I hope that when faced with new environments and new challenges, you don't stop purely because your inner voice is telling you that something is not right. That you, as well as myself, are able to stop the self doubt, and face what comes your way only to learn that everything is fine, and that you indeed are amazing the way you are.

Always yours,
Agita





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