8/12/18

Pleated Polka Dot Dress and Velvet Pumps

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Hello, lovely people,

I am writing to you from the land of boxes and bubble wrap as once again I am in a midst of moving my life from one place to another. Moving is probably one of my least favourite things to do in the world, so to come up with a logical reasoning as of why I am doing it for the 3rd time within the space of 12 months is impossible. I guess, life just keeps swinging me from one corner of the world and opportunity to another and I am just trying to catch up while also keeping my sanity during the process.

Nevertheless, this time the move I am making is probably as big as when I moved from Latvia to here. At least it feels like it in my heart and in my mind, because even though exciting, it feels extremely bittersweet due to the fact I am about to say goodbye to a place and people that had become a sort of a home to me for a while. 

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Dress - H&M Hat - H&M, Shoes - ASOS

It is very odd that I started my Scotland journey in the Scottish Borders and I am ending it in the exact same place, even though after my second year living here during university I swore to myself never to live here again. Once again, I am learning that an importance of a place is not created by how grand, or beautiful it is, but by who occupies that space, who makes it important. Because you could be living in the most exciting place in the world, but if you have no one to share it with, it truly doesn't matter.  

When I came to Scotland I was sceptical about the fact that I will find as amazing people here as my friends back home. I became even more sceptical once I realised the differences between the people here to people back home and myself. Our culture was different, the way we communicate and create/treat relationships was different, and for a very long time I felt lost and did not feel like I fit in, therefore my first true crowd of friends were a lovely and slightly insane bunch of incredible European ladies who made me feel included. That is not to say we each weren't extremely different and that always all the pieces would fit together, but it made sense. 

As time went by and I began to understand people (I am not talking about the accent haha) here more, and they began to get me too, after some trial and error I had managed to somehow find some really good eggs here. I think once you grow older it is truly harder to find a friend, so when I managed to find several, I felt like I am really one of the luckiest people in the world. Some were friends of circumstance, however others are lifers, ones that are making leaving hard and I am truly thankful for life giving me these gifts, these lovely friends. 

Besides people, I will miss Scotland. The relationship I have with this place has always been a love/hate one. Here is a classic example - It would be a May day, I would wake up in the morning to go to work. I'd walk because it's relatively close (always an uphill walk in Edinburgh though), it would be a perfectly grey and miserable morning, the rain begins, you open your umbrella which doesn't really matter because it breaks from the wind 2 minutes into your walk so off in the bin it goes. Nevertheless, while you walk to work you see some spectacular things - a huge hill on top of which sits a castle casually in the middle of the city, all around you are surrounded by beautiful old buildings, which all takes you back to some older days, and even though you have arrived to work soaking wet and out of breath, it has probably been one of the most beautiful walks of your life. I have always said you can tell which people live in Edinburgh and which don't by looking of how they walk in the rain. A true Edinburgh-er will not have bothered with the umbrella as they know there is no point, they will walk undisturbed by anything surrounding them as it is just another rainy Scottish summers day... I have been very lucky to have traveled a lot in my life from a very young age and to have seen loads of different parts of the world. Scotland truly is one of the oddest, but also one of the most stunning of them. 

I will miss Autumn in Scotland. I have never seen an Autumn more beautiful anywhere else in the world, neither a walk in the Central park or Turaida Castle in Latvia will come close to Scotland in October. I will miss how for a whole month during Summer there will be horses in the streets of Scottish Borders for the Common Riding, with kids and adults randomly riding horses saying hi to you on the street like they have known you their whole lives as you come home with your food shop in hand. I will miss always being surrounded by hills. I am a person who comes from an extremely flat country, so to me the scenery here is magic. I will miss Edinburgh and how within 30 minutes you can either end up by the beach, walking through tiny, cobble streets of old town or on top of a mountain overseeing the whole Edinburgh and beyond - whichever one you choose. 

As you can tell, I am having a hard time saying goodbye. My heart is slightly breaking as I have been lucky to have this time in my life here. I know I am ending a chapter here, and starting a new one soon. So, I am trying to trust the timing of life, trying to believe it is time to go, not to overstay my welcome and to be open to new friends and a new place to call home.


Always yours,

Agita


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