7/8/18

Belted Red Shift Dress and Pink Stilettos

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Hi everyone,

It is surprising that almost in a blink of an eye we are in the sticky hot July, as the memory of trying to get out of my snowed in flat when the Beast from the East hit us with layers and layers of magical snow still sits fresh in my mind just like it would have been the other week. Not a very long time has passed, not really... but what a difference a few months can make. 

And therefore, whenever I am upset, whenever I am stressed about something, even through seeing red, I ask myself - will it matter in a months time? Even in a weeks time? And if the answer is a no, I let it go. Not always it's that easy, because sometimes like everyone I tend to give importance to things and situations that don't really matter. But how can you not, if you have invested your time and your resources in it? 


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So, over the past few days I have been thinking about overthinking (I know, I know...). I am what one would call a serial over-thinker. Not so much now, but more used to, I would walk into a room full of people and unintentionally try to figure each person out. If someone looked unpleased, I needed to make sure that I wasn't the reason for this, and try and resolve the situation - say something witty, say something that would create a conversation to distract them from whatever was bothering them, or talk it out. Often, I would overthink it to the point that I would blame myself for someones snarky comment, not realising that some people are just overall grumps, or there might be something in their personal life bothering them, nothing to do with me. I became too self and overall aware for my own good, that I would not enjoy socialising with other people anymore, and actually find it tiring. Something I never thought I would struggle with.

Alongside that, I would tend to over-analyse a situation that doesn't really had much depth to it. And for once, I know I am not the only one around me who struggles with this. Most of my closest friends (both guys and girls) have spoken to me about situations that they are frustrated about, that they can't seem to resolve and tend to keep coming back to. (Why do you think they said this? Why did they do that? Did I do this, because I said that? If I say this, will it cause them to think that?) I then try to find a resolution or a good answer to give based on my experience, and sometimes it would help, but to be really honest, in the end, after spending endless hours of trying to figure it out, neither of us would be any wiser. 

Therefore, I'm back where I began with writing this - when I start to spiral into the abyss of overthinking once again I now ask myself whether it really matters. Is it going to be something that will affect my life, or can I just over certain period of time learn not to care about it? If it is something that is important to myself, then there are two options. One, communicate - address the situation and if there is mutual respect and maturity, it will provide you with answers. Often with answers that won't make you happy, but one way or another - they will bring clarity. Or, if you fail to communicate, distance and accept that we cannot change other people's actions, we can only change our perception and how we react. 

So, my friends, I hope you are enjoying this heat, if not, remember it won't last long and soon we will be wishing it was warm again. To add, I hope you can take something away from this, and that somewhere in the midst of the messy thing called life you can find your own perfect balance between caring and not. 

Always yours,

Agita


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