Answers, answers, answers...

Sometimes thinking too much is TOO MUCH.

The rain clouds are flying over Riga streets, but none of them in my heart or my head anymore. I guess, everyone comes to the point in life when they realize answer to something. Sometimes those are little things, sometimes it can be a decision of a lifetime, but whatever answer we have to our everyday questions, it's good. Answers have a tendency to calm people down, it's almost like an essay that you've managed to write on time or a debt that you have finally paid, in a one word we feel relieved. For this not to sound a complete nonsenss, I'll tell you what I've been worried about for a long time, and I guess every human being gets worried about that sooner or later.

I'm always trying to find myself, have always tried to put myself in a label, is that a career choice, or a book to read, the first thoughts that mostly always run in my head are "Does it fit with the image I am wearing?" or "Will it ruin my image?",and it doesn't matter if others see me with the wrong career choice or the dullest book ever, it's me, I'm the judge, and if it doesn't fit with my image, it haunts me, haunts me down, till I'm exhausted.

It only came to this day, that I understood, there is no certain image you can put a person in, especially yourself. There are almost 7 billion people in the world, and each of them wears their own image, and no matter how hard you try to be the other persons image, the one that truely sits in yourself, waiting to be discovered, will change the one you try to put off, so it never pleases you, and it never pleased me either.

And it's common, like little things, for example, people asking you "How you feel?", and it goes automatically for us to answer "Good, thanks for asking", when really we sometimes have no idea how we feel. For a long time I thought analysing everything would definitely lead me to an answer, well NO, it leads you only deeper in a desert, with no water...

So, if you are lost, don't try to find yourself with answer searching - go out with people that you feel the most comfortable with, say things out of context or not talk at all, if you really don't have anything to say. Pointless words never satisfied anyone. Speak only when you have something to say, no matter if it sounds stupid in your head, if it's there, it has a reason to be there, so let the world know. Walk around your town, no direction, try not to analyise anything, try not to think and if it's hard, think about all-embracing stuff, big things, don't concentrate on little things or think very much into things, they say love comes when we expect it the last, same with the answers of your inner questions. Try not to compare people you see around you to your life situations or yourself, they have their own insicurities and their own big confidence about some things, same as you do. Answers will come, they are like letters, if the adress is right, they will get to you, don't worry.

listening to boy & bear - mexican mavis

Keep enjoying long sleep, kids,

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